I consider myself fortunate that every media interview I’ve given over a career spanning four decades, has never touched upon what I get up to in my spare time. And that’s just fine by me. Whilst readers are in the main, interested in hearing about my latest books and my thoughts on marketing, they don’t give a moment’s thought to the side of me that I frequently refer to as, dull-as-ditchwater Dee. I am not that important.
That said, this column bends, nay breaks those rules. Over many months, I’ve made it my mission, aided and some might say, abetted by Lucy Pitts, the founder of Sussex Exclusive, to focus on Anything But Business. If you’ve read my missives, you’ll know that I blether on about some pretty mundane stuff. This includes sharing my skittishness at a new vacuum cleaner, that almost suctioned Psmith, the family Frenchie in to its cavernous canister, to regaling you with the sad story of my husband’s frankly heartbreaking attempt at baking bricks, sorry bread. And who can forget my December pilgrimage to the loft which saw me wrestling with a decapitated Christmas tree whilst fighting off the invasion of the cobwebs.
But what do I get up to in my spare time? Are you sitting comfortably? Let me paint the picture…
I want you to imagine you’re eavesdropping on a journalist, sent by their editor, clearly at the sorry end of scratching around for features, to interview me. Not about my latest book but to discover my exotic hobbies. Given I am of the belief that no publicity is bad publicity (unless you’re Gerald Ratner, that is) I’ve agreed in the hope that I can steer the interview waters where I’m at my most confident. Talking about anything bar what happens when I’m faced with free time.
I’m perched on the sofa in the family room, with said journalist, enjoying either a fresh cup of coffee, herbal tea or a glass of water, even all three. I’m a generous host and have proffered her a tray of biscuits – laden with sugar, sugar free, low sugar, gluten free and vegan options, because you never know. I have chucked a few bananas in for good measure, should her energy levels flag, plus a carton of orange juice that has somehow managed to volley itself at my top as I was prising open the stay-attached- to- save- the- environment lid. I have engaged in some pleasantries, most notably about what is currently inspiring her pen and can see she has developed a nervous twitch. A sign I should stop talking and focus.
As she is commandeering her tablet to record what is going to be a short conversation if we stick to topic, my thoughts are currently on my hearing or rather lack of it. My tinnitus is going into overdrive. Can I sneak to the loo to plug in my ears because if I mishear a question, I could offer a ridiculous answer. I decide on a loo sprint and now fully charged, we settle down. My mind is racing…. should I embellish some of my answers? No, your fibs can catch you out.
Pleasantries completed, she fixes me with a warm smile.
“Dee when you’re not working, how do you fill your time? Any hobbies you would like to share with our readers?”
My heart sinks. Surely she could have talked a bit about my latest book to ease me in.
Inspiration strikes like a bolt of lightning…
“Well, given I am a writer and I always say that writing is my hobby, I confess I do like to write in my spare time… most notably short stories…”
It is a triumphant answer and boom I’m back in my comfort zone.
“Really! How exciting, what short stories are you writing now?”
I have been hook line and sinkered, trading on incredibly old news. I did write short stories for a fiction book 15 months ago…but since then.
“Well, I am in the thinking phase…”
My voice trails off.
“So, when you’re not thinking about writing short stories Dee, what are you up to?”
At this point I start fidgeting, cursing myself for not cultivating a hobby in the last week so I could offer it up but no. Then another flash of brilliance.
“Well, I enjoy walking…”
Where?
“To John Lewis…”
She gazes at me quizzically as if I have lost every marble in my rapidly decanting brain.
“And I enjoy cooking.”
I’m now scavenging the corners of my mind to fathom when I last baked or made a dish from scratch. Serving hubby huge amounts of fresh veg to go with hubby’s M&S Tom Kerridge lentil pie is not the answer I suspect she’s looking for.
“Reading! That’s it. I love reading!”
I am now warming to this theme because I presently read one book every week, since I launched a nonfiction book awards and invited the editor of this fine brand to join me on the judging panel.
“And I have a radio show which I love! Every week I invite a guest to talk about their business journey. If I’ve read their book I invite them on to my show….”
I am now unstoppable. She cuts me short.
“Well, they certainly are interesting ‘hobbies,’ Dee but are they not aligned with your work?”
Gotcha.
“I guess so but for me that old saying, if you love what you do you’ll never work a day in your life again and all that jazz…”
Game over.
The journalist turns off her gadgets, smiles and nods her head.
“I’m going to suggest to my editor that instead of running a feature on your hobbies, we instead focus on your business. How does that sound?”
“That suits me just fine. Care for a top up and a sugar free digestive?”
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