Danny Rowe is a person you don’t forget. A British army veteran, he is warm and open, and the best listener I’ve ever met. His story is inspiring, from being bullied at school for several years, to joining the army at 16, getting PTSD when he left and now, building a thriving career in finance, with plans to write a book (I’m at the head of the queue to review it) and become a motivational speaker. Isn’t that what people want today – to be inspired by a person who really has endured life’s slings and arrows, emerging triumphant with an authentic and compelling story to tell? I was thrilled therefore when Danny agreed to this interview, his first of many, I suspect.
Your career in the Army was born out of books and being bullied
Two military books captivated me, namely Andy McNab’s Bravo Two Zero and Chris Ryan’s The One That Got Away. Their struggle for survival and their resilience in the face of incredible adversity triggered something in my 16-year-old self. It made me wonder if there was more to me than met the eye. Maybe I, too, could become someone and escape the insidious bullying? Someone as worthy of respect as these men. I wanted to see what I was capable of. The military was the perfect occupation to become someone. Someone who could be loved and respected.
Before joining the Army, did you envision the day-to-day grit and training it entailed?
Reading about adversity and experiencing adversity are quite different. When training under your own volition, you can always slow down or stop when it gets hard. In the Army, you can’t. When you’re physically exhausted, the only option is to go into a dark place. Your mind.
What did you do when faced with the reality of being last on your daily squadron runs?
Having lived a sedentary childhood, I was physically disadvantaged against my peers. As I got fitter, so did my peers. Being last is risking death. War isn’t kind to anyone, let alone to the weak. My only solution was to outwork my peers. When my peers were resting in the evening, I’d strap on a Bergen, load it with weight, and carry on training. This habit won me the Most Improved Junior Soldier award. Funnily enough, the fear of death is a powerful motivator!
Being a soldier is as much about mental resilience as physical. How did you build the former?
I had an unwavering belief that no matter how difficult it got, I would never give up. The only way I was ever going to leave was if I was forced out. My timeframe had to change to one I could handle. For example, instead of thinking about the next year, I’d often think about surviving the next 10 minutes and then the next 10 minutes.
You left the army with a degree in one hand, PTSD in the other. How did you handle being a civilian after years of being part of a team with rigorous discipline and rules? And why the degree?
It was tough. Walking out of those gates, I didn’t just leave a career; I gave up my identity. In the Army, you have structure, discipline, and purpose. Civilian life removes that safety net. Suddenly, every decision is yours, and so are the consequences. Even with the accomplishment of being in the military, I still didn’t feel enough. The degree was another attempt to fill that void. People assume my trauma arose from the Army, but it started earlier. My core belief was that I was unlovable, and so my achievements were really a strategy to gain love.
You’re renowned for your EQ and for having a profoundly philosophical and insightful approach on life and on people.
This comes from years of introspecting because I was trying to understand the pain of being me. I always wanted, desperately, to understand the machinations of others, and what compels people to behave the way they do. Once you truly suffer, you become less interested in judging others, more interested in understanding them. Once you understand their experiences, you can better understand their behaviour. You see, people can hurt us, but they can only take our smile if we let them. Smiling is a defiant act. Never let anyone take your smile.
I’m encouraging you to write a book and become a speaker because you inspire others with your story, your resilience and you’re a leader grounded in empathy, understanding, and experience. Will you embark on this road less travelled?
The thought of going public and putting my thoughts out there and risking public humiliation is an uncomfortable thought. However, a more uncomfortable thought is being given the gift of life and not making a difference. One day we will all die, but our words can live on in others. Therefore, I will embrace the discomfort, write my first book, and speak publicly. Because one day, my words might inspire someone else like Andy and Chris inspired me. The way to win is to help others.
On my radio show you shared a brilliant quote that inspires you
Theodore Roosevelt: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Years ago, I suffered from crippling social anxiety. In hindsight, this affliction arose from me putting others on a pedestal. Combined with a deeply rooted belief from childhood that there was something wrong with me, others were better than me. It was through cognitive behavioural therapy with an amazing clinical psychologist that I realised the lies others told me about myself were untrue.
Share your love of Brighton
My wife and I quit our jobs, sold our belongings and accepted an invite to pet-sit in Brighton before travelling around the world. We have fond memories of walking along Brighton’s beautiful promenade, exploring the famous Lanes and enjoying the eclectic eateries. Brighton will always hold a special place in our hearts. It was the start of our adventures!
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