Every business owner I have worked with has said a version of the same thing: “I know what we do is good. I just can’t seem to put it into words.”
Writing about your own business is difficult. You are too close to it, and too busy running it to see it through your customer’s eyes. The result is copy that looks fine on the surface, but sends customers elsewhere without you knowing why. I have rewritten enough business websites to know that the same problems come up every time. Here are the ones worth fixing first.
You’re talking about yourself when you should be talking about them
Open your website homepage. Count how many times the words “we”, “our” and “us” appear. Next count “you” and “your”. If that count stings a little, good. You have just diagnosed your first problem. Most businesses are talking about themselves more than they realise.
Customers arrive thinking about themselves and their problems, not about you. Speak to that, and they’ll stay. Ignore it, and they’ll leave. Here is what that looks like in practice.
Take a fictional Sussex vineyard:
Before: “We are a family-run vineyard nestled in the heart of the South Downs. We have been producing award-winning sparkling wines since 2008 and are passionate about quality, sustainability and sharing our love of the land with visitors.”
After: “You came for a good bottle. What you’ll find here is something richer: a sparkling wine grown in chalk hillside soil that took fifteen years to understand, made by people who are still learning from it. Come and taste the difference this place makes.”
It’s the same vineyard and wine, but a completely different feeling. One is about the business. The other is about you.
Your headline is working against you
Most website headlines do one of two things: they state the obvious (“Welcome to [Company Name]”), or they try so hard to sound clever that nobody can tell what the business does. A strong headline does one thing well. It tells the right person: this is for you.
Lead with the one thing that your ideal customer most wants to achieve.
“Finally, a bookkeeper who explains things in plain English” will outperform “Expert Financial Solutions” every time.
You’re burying the point
Almost every business website has the same bad habit: the long warm-up. The habit is to warm up first and get to the point later. Your reader won’t wait that long. So say the most important thing first. Then give your reader the details. A Sussex wedding photographer who opens with “We believe every love story deserves to be told…” is making you wait. “Your wedding photos, delivered within two weeks, guaranteed” is the opener that makes them want to know more.
There’s no clear next step
A reader can arrive at your website, read every word, and leave without doing a thing. Not because they weren’t interested, but because nobody told them what to do next. Every page needs one clear instruction: book a call or download the guide. Give them options and you’ve already lost them.
Your customers don’t speak your language
It’s easy to write in the language of your profession. But your customers often don’t know those words and don’t search for them. For example, an accountant who leads with “comprehensive tax mitigation strategies” is writing for other accountants. Their clients are searching for “how to pay less tax.” Read your copy back and ask: would a sharp 14-year-old understand this? If not, simplify it.
Plain language doesn’t make you sound less expert, it makes you sound more confident.
Nothing here makes me trust you
A list of services tells people what you do. But a real result tells them what you can do for them.
“I helped a Lewes pottery studio double their online enquiries in six weeks” tells your reader something a list of services never could. Place testimonials right beside the point where you are asking someone to get in touch. If you are not sure which result to lead with, pick the one that made your client’s life noticeably easier. That is the one your future customers need to hear.
You sound like everyone else
Open your website, then open two competitors’ websites. If the language is interchangeable, you have a problem. Customers tend to default to the cheapest or the most familiar. Your copy needs to carry your fingerprints. The specific phrases and observations that nobody else in your field would think to use.
Take this Sussex interiors studio:
Before: “We are an award-winning interior design studio offering bespoke residential and commercial design solutions across Sussex and beyond.”
After: “You know exactly how you want your home to feel. You just need someone who can see it too. That is what we do.”
One of those could have come from any studio in the country. The other couldn’t. You don’t need to rewrite everything at once. Copy isn’t about sounding impressive. It’s about being understood – clearly and quickly – by the person who needs exactly what you offer. Small copy changes can turn a browser into a buyer faster than most people expect.
Next month I’ll be sharing five tips for writing case studies that will help you win new business.
About Kazi
Kazi is an award-winning copywriter and the No.1 bestselling author of HUMANITY 2.0: Redefining Humanity in The Age of Artificial Intelligence. She joins Sussex Exclusive as a columnist. As founder of InkWiseCopy.com and MyCaseStory.com, Kazi works with businesses across the UK and internationally to help them find their voice and use it well.
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